When the dumb gets to speak..

One of the famous poets in Telugu, Ismail had to say that poetry is like giving voice to a dumb fellow. It isn't that we don't feel many a things, its just that we either lack the knowledge that we're feeling it (which is a blessing in disguise) or there's not enough in you to voice it out. Poetry, so says Ismail is the one which lets a dumb scream his heart out. ( మూగవాని కేక!)

And reading Pablo has been always tough for me, for I love him for what he is and hate him for making me feel sorry for what I'm. Here's the sample..

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I don't know how to comprehend the first line. I-love-you is as it is an insensible group of words in my sense. More so, when it is I-love-you with "Conditions Applied". You love.. you love! If you're trying to answer "why?", then the very sense of love is killed.

But I'm spell bound by the next 3 lines. Whether the fact of being in love is known or not, there is this very presence of "I" always in picture. And that makes very single attempt not to be waiting, not to be loving, not to be pining - adding to the woes

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Leaving alone the first statement, I love this stanza. The phrase / word of "I-love-you" gets onto the nerves for three reasons - the I, the love and the you! So much said and written about love, I'll not ponder on that yet again. The entire emphasis is always laid on that four letter word, that the I and you are so completely ignored assuming they are the well known. "You" should be relatively new, but it is the "I" who gets into a new form. "You" being outside has such an impact on the "I" that it bends like never before. The most inflexible can do all the gymnastic acts, because of the "you", in the presence of "you". Intense love and hate are result of the fact that "I" starts bending to our disbelief.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

The other day, a friend had a status message, "the sound of tears is cool" (కన్నీటి సవ్వడెంత హాయిలే!), which prompted a question from me, "How about the storm inside?" Pat came the reply, "Don't worry, that's never gonna be heard by anyone else"

Its only key to "true" calm that is lost, otherwise just calm can always be acted out.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

Obvious! Because the "you" can't be killed (because of being loved) and love? Well, its like the "rakshasas" in the mythological stories, you aim to target it, it disappears with villainous laugh only to re-appear. The left one is "I" and can be killed!