... inebriated ecstasy ...

I miss Kafka, these days. As if none among the living is worth missing, I choose to miss the dead often. How often did your soul wanted to dance and your feet fail to stand up? How often did it want to dissipate into eternity and you couldn't even understand that? Kafka, in his engaging prose, kept complaining about a trampled soul trapped in a decent body. I've an exact opposite problem. Added to that, I can't express myself. Now, doesn't that justify me missing Kafka?

"pee loon, hai peene kaa mausam" - professes a song from Once Upon A Time in Mumbaai. I've been drunk too, drunk on happiness, drunk on life, so much so that it's hard not to stagger, not to stammer. Yet, I've decided to write something on the album that has swept me off.

I was introduced to this album through the song, "pee loon.." , which is truly an intoxicant.


Mujh mein samayi hai yun, Jis tarah ki koi ho nadi
Tu mere seenay mein chupti hai, sagar tumhara main hoon

These are the lines that make this song an exhilaration, for me. Bollywood poets were always good at getting to heart of man-woman relationships; the above line, in its various forms, already part of numerous songs. But the amour prope shown by the man here - in being her saagar - amuses me.

The rest of the song is good too, passionately rendered and beautifully composed. Having listened to it many times, I conveniently skipped checking the album in full, until I came across the song "tum jo aaye" by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan. Listened to it. Got bowled over. I keep listening to it. And I enjoy getting myself bowled over again and again. This is one of the best songs that happened in Bollywood, recently. I can't talk much about the music, but I'm sure it has enough to sway anybody to its tune. The semi-classical base and Khan's voice make this song a beauty, especially the start of the song:

Paya maine, paya tumhe, rab ne milaya tumhe, Hontun pe sajaya tumhe, nag mein sagaya tumhe
Paya maine, paya tumhe, sab se chupaya tumhe,Sapna banaya tumhe, neendun mein bulaya

Breathless rendition leaves you gasping with ecstasy. And the more I talk about the lyrics, the less, I feel I could express.

Zindagi bewafa hai yeh maana magar
Chod kar raah mein jaoge tum agar
Cheen launga main aasman se tumhe
Soona hoga na yeh, do dilon ka nagar

Again! I-damn-the-death-when-it's-you attitude has been part of Bollywood for long, but the way these lines are rendered take it to a new height.

The lines that I like most in this song are, the following:

Mere dil ki jeet meri baat ban gayi
Hoo tum jo aaye zindagi mein baat ban gayi

Fall in love. That's the ticket to stay put a visit in both hell and heaven. You keep swinging between dreams and practicalities, between spring and autumn, between life and death, between excruciating pain and exhilaration. If I can tweak those wordings a little, "mere dil ki jeet meri maat ban gayi.. tum jo aaye zindagi mein baat ban gayi" capturing the irony of love.

The re-use of the old song "parda.." isn't very great, though the original has such a magic that it can easily live next 100 years, with or without remixes. And that leaves just two others songs in this album. "babu rao.." song is a funky, for-the-masses song, however is good enough to catch one's attention. The big plus of this album is that the songs have captured the soul of each character very well, be it the 'can't help being love' souls in above and soon to be followed song or the typical i-me-myself character in this song. The lyrics catch the mood well, and liked the song a lot - especially the lines: babu rao mast hai, mast hai, mast mast hai - makes me mast!

Final song of the album is a usual, listen-i'm-in-love song. The lyrics, though, are refreshingly beautiful.

Baadal pe chalta hoon main, girta sambhalta hoon main
Khwaishein karta hoon main, khone se darta hoon main
Jaaga na soya hoon main, musafir khoya hoon main
Kuch sarfira sa hoon main, budhu zara sa hoon main

A typical Indian male for you! The dreamer, the fighter, the yearner, the lover, the traveler all rolled into one - what a combination, delightful and frightful at the same time. Alas, if only the characterization in films could reflect what the songs convey. The directors either aren't poetic enough or can't translate that onto celluloid. I'm not pinning any hopes on this movie, despite such lovely songs.

Monsoon suits both: fall in love and fail in love cases. However, when such music comes to your rescue, you can fall in love, all over again. Just as the raindrops falling onto you titillate you, let the music grow on you.

Get drunk. Stay drunk. On music. On life. On love.

pee lo.. hai peene kaa mausam..

Talent for Vulgarity

Many of his words struck me hard, this being one of them, Kurt Vonnegut talking about his mother.


"She was a good writer, it turned out, but she had no talent for the vulgarity the slick magazines required. Fortunately, I was loaded with vulgarity, so when I grew up I was able to make her dream come true."

Watching Ishqiya trailers makes me so uncomfortable, not just because of what I get to see on the screen. That's anyway obvious. The new  disquiet is about the fact that I can't stomach most of it. Vishal has been tempting me for the days of Omkara. I watched that movie with my thumb mostly on the fast forward button of the remote.  I prepared myself a li'l too heavily when we planned to watch Kaminey. I was far more at ease with this film, but never did it impress me to the fullest. Now watching Ishiqa makes me curious and apprehensive at the same time. I'll be very surely out of place to enjoy this movie, even with censor board's best efforts. 

As Kurt said, to be an artist - to be in the process of mirroring what's around you - no doubt, you got to have the nag for vulgarity. I just started to feel that to be an  connoisseur of art you got to have that talent for vulgarity. I'm not campaigning for vulgarity in arts, it's just that I'm possibly seeing with wider eyes and acknowledging facts that aren't to my liking.  I still wonder if there could be a way to erase the world, when I close my eyes.



Good part of Vishal's genius  as  far as I'm concerned is his music. Partnering the mastreo Gulzar he comes up with some unusally brilliant music. After Gulzar and RDB combination, these two are soon becoming my second best. 

Never been there.. yet been there

Have you ever been in love? Have you ever been rejected, hated or left in despair by somebody? Have you ever felt the need of somebody for your own existence? Do you even have the faintest of ideas as to what it means to have a broken heart?

Do you want to wander about in the kingdom of a broken heart, without ever experiencing personally? Welcome to the world of Abhinandana.


Abhinandana is a musical romantic Telugu film released in early nineties. The story line is too simple: it's all about a gal and guy madly in love with each other when destiny scares them away that it seems that they gonna lose each other forever. But as they say, good happens to good souls. Its kind of happy ending that they both get back together. That's all! The beauty of the movie is actually how this simple story is turned into a masterpiece on the celluloid. I'm no expert to discuss the nuances of cinematic skills, so I'll leave that part right here.

As with any typical Indian flick, music and songs become such a crucial part of the movie that it mandates the gal and guy run around trees or drench in the rain or whatever that supposedly entertaining to the audience. Again, I'm not connoisseur of music, but still, that is what this post would contain. I'm terribly gonna fail at that, yet I'll be doing that.

The songs of this movie are a creation of three masters in their respective fields. None needs introduction. Or to the matter of fact, any introduction, however good, makes them look small, ordinary and one-among-us. Whereas they create magic that could overwhelm anyone - ANYONE!

First Illayaraja - he's called maestro - thankfully, I can stop here. Any given day and every single time I happen to hear the music of this movie, I'm taken into a different world. All of a sudden the real world diffuses itself into the magic called Illayaraja, leaving me swinging to the tunes of pain, hurt, hopelessness, melancholy, desire and many others which I can't even name.

Then there is the one who renders these songs so heartrendingly well - S.P. Bala Subhramaniam. It takes a certain age and most importantly a certain set of experiences to actually empathize with the fall-in-love and after-love effects. But not when you have someone who can bring ever single emotion of heart into the vocal chords. I was equally fond of these songs during my childhood, so much so that whenever I heard this song over radio - end of it, I wanted to give SPB a glass of water, make him sit beside me, pat him on his back and tell him, "Don't cry! Good boys shouldn't cry!" If you wanna hear a heart's beat, listen to SPB!

And the third and my most favourite is the lyricist of these songs - Aatreya. People call him 'manasu kavi" - poet of heart - and that is because he actually speaks heart's language. I can never understand when people say, 'heart is dumb' (మనసు మూగది). Heart has found its mouth piece in form of this man, who can so eloquently speak any of its pain in simplest of words and ways.

మరుపే తెలియని నా హృదయం
తెలిసీ వలచుట తొలి నేరం
అందుకే ఈ గాయం
(despite the fact that my heart can't forget, it has loved you and that's the wound)

గాయాన్ని అయినా మాననీవు
హృదయాన్ని అయినా వీడిపోవు
కాలం నాకు సాయం రాదు
మరణం నన్ను చేరనీదు
(You don't let the wound heal - You don't desert my heart - time doesn't help me - death doesn't let me associate)

కలలకి భయడిపోయాను
నిదురకి దూరం అయ్యాను
వేదన పడ్డాను
(Scared of dreams - distancing sleep - I grieve)

All you insomniacs out there, this is your problem, which no doctor on earth can cure, unless you help your self.

ప్రేమకింత బలం ఉందా?
(Love is this potent?) Brings a smile on my face. Yes, it is more potent that the strongest of "I"s wither away. But words can equally pierce your soul and chisel your heart. Words are potent enough to let us experience without being there. They let us live someone's feelings and emotions, though momentarily.

This song, at the moment, has completely taken me into it. More songs will be talked later.

On an ending note, music, vocals and words are equally potent. Better put, anything that has the heart as focus is always potent!