Well, I've been planning, rather dreaming, to run away from this chaotic world and hide in a serene calm place and give myself completely to book reading. My "to-be-read" shelf grows bigger and bigger to scare me if I've enough time ever to read them all. Sometimes I feel like having a list of "must read stuff before I die" - but it kind of scares me away. Now, any of my friends reading these lines, might have started preparing themselves to lecture me on why is it not that good to be too much into books and why I should be trying out various other things! Nevertheless, I want to be with books, even if that's cardinal sin.
And when I come across such lines, the pain due to my ineffectiveness simply increases.
"These days, however, after spending hours reading e-mails and fielding phone calls in the office, tracking stories across countless websites, I find it difficult to quiet down. I pick up a book and read a paragraph; then my mind wanders and I check my e-mail, drift onto the Internet, pace the house before returning to the page. Or I want to do these things but don't. I force myself to remain still, to follow whatever I'm reading until the inevitable moment I give myself over to the flow. Eventually I get there, but some nights it takes 20 pages to settle down. What I'm struggling with is the encroachment of the buzz, the sense that there is something out there that merits my attention, when in fact it's mostly just a series of disconnected riffs and fragments that add up to the anxiety of the age."
More here.
But the find of the day is here. Only a month back or so, I struggled to browse through few pages of one of Eco's non-fiction works. When my friend brought him into our conversation, I just skimmed through the wiki page to stumble upon this link. It's a beautifully (for me, yes, it is beautiful) written essay on writing, reading, memory, visual effects, books, book reading and the printed versus digitized books. This article kind of gives me courage to explore ECO further. That is just one more on my endless list of 'to-be-read'.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Sorrows for Sale..
गम बिकते हैं
बाज़ारॊं में
गम काफी महंगे बिकते हैं
लहजॆ की दुक्कान अगर चल जाए तो
जज्बॆं के गाहक
छॊटॆ बडॆ हर गम के खिलौने
मुह मांगी कीमत पे खरीदें
मैंने हमॆशा अपने गम अच्छे दामॊं बेचे हैं
लेकिन
जॊ गम मुझ्कॊ आज मिला है
किसी दुका पर रखने के काबिल ही नहीं है
पहली बार मैं शम्रिदा हू
ये गम बेज़ नही पाऊगा
(All typos, courtesy of baraha direct7.0 )
(Sorrows are sold
in the market.
The price of sorrows is high.
If the shop of sweet tones is successful,
The customers of emotion
Will buy the toys of sorrow, large or small,
For any price that is asked
I've always
sold my sorrows for a good price
But
the sorrow I've today
I couldn't display it on any counter
For the first time, I'm ashamed;
this sorrow I shall not be able to sell.)
- Javed Akhtar
Sometime during the week, I happened to watch a usual NDTV discussion on reality shows of Indian Television. One of the experts raised a concern that, "My only worry is that India has become insensitive in many ways and now they actually derive pleasure out of others' pain and discomfort and worries." And my immediate response to it was, "Oh.. tears sell big way!". When I tracked down my memory, I remembered that I read a poem of Javed Akhtar on similar lines. Here it is.
Tears, pain, cribbing - they sell in big way. Comedians are enjoyed, laughed at, but hardly taken seriously. But with these pathos, the whole world kind of cries along with them. Anyone who chooses to open up in public to take about pain, is a performer and a performer's primary agenda is to seek attention. These reality shows would go on, as long as the attention is given to them.
बाज़ारॊं में
गम काफी महंगे बिकते हैं
लहजॆ की दुक्कान अगर चल जाए तो
जज्बॆं के गाहक
छॊटॆ बडॆ हर गम के खिलौने
मुह मांगी कीमत पे खरीदें
मैंने हमॆशा अपने गम अच्छे दामॊं बेचे हैं
लेकिन
जॊ गम मुझ्कॊ आज मिला है
किसी दुका पर रखने के काबिल ही नहीं है
पहली बार मैं शम्रिदा हू
ये गम बेज़ नही पाऊगा
(All typos, courtesy of baraha direct7.0 )
(Sorrows are sold
in the market.
The price of sorrows is high.
If the shop of sweet tones is successful,
The customers of emotion
Will buy the toys of sorrow, large or small,
For any price that is asked
I've always
sold my sorrows for a good price
But
the sorrow I've today
I couldn't display it on any counter
For the first time, I'm ashamed;
this sorrow I shall not be able to sell.)
- Javed Akhtar
Sometime during the week, I happened to watch a usual NDTV discussion on reality shows of Indian Television. One of the experts raised a concern that, "My only worry is that India has become insensitive in many ways and now they actually derive pleasure out of others' pain and discomfort and worries." And my immediate response to it was, "Oh.. tears sell big way!". When I tracked down my memory, I remembered that I read a poem of Javed Akhtar on similar lines. Here it is.
Tears, pain, cribbing - they sell in big way. Comedians are enjoyed, laughed at, but hardly taken seriously. But with these pathos, the whole world kind of cries along with them. Anyone who chooses to open up in public to take about pain, is a performer and a performer's primary agenda is to seek attention. These reality shows would go on, as long as the attention is given to them.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Blogs as means of personal communication..
I don't understand at times if the problem is with me or the world. Like I don't enjoy nonsensical craps under the name of blockbusters, I don't enjoy many more things. Off late, there's one thing that's pricking me. Using blogs as means of personal communication.
What to blog? - I've some very rigid thoughts on this and those were worked out even before starting a blog of my own. It's been two years associated actively with this virtual word and I still stick to my opinions on what is to be blogged.
Through blog, you're certainly reaching out to the world. The world that you know it existed, but that you've never seen. But I don't understand the need why one has to rely on blogs to communicate to their own set of people. People say there is so much pain inside that unless it finds a way out they can't remain sane. And by pouring that out, there are emphatically showing their insanity.
You and your best friend are on talking terms. Everything personal between you both shouldn't see the light of the world.
You and your best friend had a spat and not communicating the way you do, then all the follow up acts should be done on one-on-one level. The world needn't be witness for your spat or after-effects.
You and your best friend had serious issues and parted with one another. There it ends. You pine, you ache! But don't blog all that in the expectation that you'll be read, understood and befriended again!
I wonder, if blogs can fair as a good means of communication. They become pathetic when it comes to the personal stuff. Blogs could at the most be those hapless mediators between two people who are swearing to kill each other. Blogs aren't diaries to speak out the most secret of emotions. Attempting to be understood or sympathized or empathized - seems to be the most pathetic stage a person can go through. I hate it. I pity it.
(If you can't have a proper control over your tongue to make sense, please refrain from commenting here.)
What to blog? - I've some very rigid thoughts on this and those were worked out even before starting a blog of my own. It's been two years associated actively with this virtual word and I still stick to my opinions on what is to be blogged.
Through blog, you're certainly reaching out to the world. The world that you know it existed, but that you've never seen. But I don't understand the need why one has to rely on blogs to communicate to their own set of people. People say there is so much pain inside that unless it finds a way out they can't remain sane. And by pouring that out, there are emphatically showing their insanity.
You and your best friend are on talking terms. Everything personal between you both shouldn't see the light of the world.
You and your best friend had a spat and not communicating the way you do, then all the follow up acts should be done on one-on-one level. The world needn't be witness for your spat or after-effects.
You and your best friend had serious issues and parted with one another. There it ends. You pine, you ache! But don't blog all that in the expectation that you'll be read, understood and befriended again!
I wonder, if blogs can fair as a good means of communication. They become pathetic when it comes to the personal stuff. Blogs could at the most be those hapless mediators between two people who are swearing to kill each other. Blogs aren't diaries to speak out the most secret of emotions. Attempting to be understood or sympathized or empathized - seems to be the most pathetic stage a person can go through. I hate it. I pity it.
(If you can't have a proper control over your tongue to make sense, please refrain from commenting here.)
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Never been there.. yet been there
Have you ever been in love? Have you ever been rejected, hated or left in despair by somebody? Have you ever felt the need of somebody for your own existence? Do you even have the faintest of ideas as to what it means to have a broken heart?
Do you want to wander about in the kingdom of a broken heart, without ever experiencing personally? Welcome to the world of Abhinandana.
Abhinandana is a musical romantic Telugu film released in early nineties. The story line is too simple: it's all about a gal and guy madly in love with each other when destiny scares them away that it seems that they gonna lose each other forever. But as they say, good happens to good souls. Its kind of happy ending that they both get back together. That's all! The beauty of the movie is actually how this simple story is turned into a masterpiece on the celluloid. I'm no expert to discuss the nuances of cinematic skills, so I'll leave that part right here.
As with any typical Indian flick, music and songs become such a crucial part of the movie that it mandates the gal and guy run around trees or drench in the rain or whatever that supposedly entertaining to the audience. Again, I'm not connoisseur of music, but still, that is what this post would contain. I'm terribly gonna fail at that, yet I'll be doing that.
The songs of this movie are a creation of three masters in their respective fields. None needs introduction. Or to the matter of fact, any introduction, however good, makes them look small, ordinary and one-among-us. Whereas they create magic that could overwhelm anyone - ANYONE!
First Illayaraja - he's called maestro - thankfully, I can stop here. Any given day and every single time I happen to hear the music of this movie, I'm taken into a different world. All of a sudden the real world diffuses itself into the magic called Illayaraja, leaving me swinging to the tunes of pain, hurt, hopelessness, melancholy, desire and many others which I can't even name.
Then there is the one who renders these songs so heartrendingly well - S.P. Bala Subhramaniam. It takes a certain age and most importantly a certain set of experiences to actually empathize with the fall-in-love and after-love effects. But not when you have someone who can bring ever single emotion of heart into the vocal chords. I was equally fond of these songs during my childhood, so much so that whenever I heard this song over radio - end of it, I wanted to give SPB a glass of water, make him sit beside me, pat him on his back and tell him, "Don't cry! Good boys shouldn't cry!" If you wanna hear a heart's beat, listen to SPB!
And the third and my most favourite is the lyricist of these songs - Aatreya. People call him 'manasu kavi" - poet of heart - and that is because he actually speaks heart's language. I can never understand when people say, 'heart is dumb' (మనసు మూగది). Heart has found its mouth piece in form of this man, who can so eloquently speak any of its pain in simplest of words and ways.
మరుపే తెలియని నా హృదయం
తెలిసీ వలచుట తొలి నేరం
అందుకే ఈ గాయం
(despite the fact that my heart can't forget, it has loved you and that's the wound)
గాయాన్ని అయినా మాననీవు
హృదయాన్ని అయినా వీడిపోవు
కాలం నాకు సాయం రాదు
మరణం నన్ను చేరనీదు
(You don't let the wound heal - You don't desert my heart - time doesn't help me - death doesn't let me associate)
కలలకి భయడిపోయాను
నిదురకి దూరం అయ్యాను
వేదన పడ్డాను
(Scared of dreams - distancing sleep - I grieve)
All you insomniacs out there, this is your problem, which no doctor on earth can cure, unless you help your self.
ప్రేమకింత బలం ఉందా?
(Love is this potent?) Brings a smile on my face. Yes, it is more potent that the strongest of "I"s wither away. But words can equally pierce your soul and chisel your heart. Words are potent enough to let us experience without being there. They let us live someone's feelings and emotions, though momentarily.
This song, at the moment, has completely taken me into it. More songs will be talked later.
On an ending note, music, vocals and words are equally potent. Better put, anything that has the heart as focus is always potent!
Do you want to wander about in the kingdom of a broken heart, without ever experiencing personally? Welcome to the world of Abhinandana.
Abhinandana is a musical romantic Telugu film released in early nineties. The story line is too simple: it's all about a gal and guy madly in love with each other when destiny scares them away that it seems that they gonna lose each other forever. But as they say, good happens to good souls. Its kind of happy ending that they both get back together. That's all! The beauty of the movie is actually how this simple story is turned into a masterpiece on the celluloid. I'm no expert to discuss the nuances of cinematic skills, so I'll leave that part right here.
As with any typical Indian flick, music and songs become such a crucial part of the movie that it mandates the gal and guy run around trees or drench in the rain or whatever that supposedly entertaining to the audience. Again, I'm not connoisseur of music, but still, that is what this post would contain. I'm terribly gonna fail at that, yet I'll be doing that.
The songs of this movie are a creation of three masters in their respective fields. None needs introduction. Or to the matter of fact, any introduction, however good, makes them look small, ordinary and one-among-us. Whereas they create magic that could overwhelm anyone - ANYONE!
First Illayaraja - he's called maestro - thankfully, I can stop here. Any given day and every single time I happen to hear the music of this movie, I'm taken into a different world. All of a sudden the real world diffuses itself into the magic called Illayaraja, leaving me swinging to the tunes of pain, hurt, hopelessness, melancholy, desire and many others which I can't even name.
Then there is the one who renders these songs so heartrendingly well - S.P. Bala Subhramaniam. It takes a certain age and most importantly a certain set of experiences to actually empathize with the fall-in-love and after-love effects. But not when you have someone who can bring ever single emotion of heart into the vocal chords. I was equally fond of these songs during my childhood, so much so that whenever I heard this song over radio - end of it, I wanted to give SPB a glass of water, make him sit beside me, pat him on his back and tell him, "Don't cry! Good boys shouldn't cry!" If you wanna hear a heart's beat, listen to SPB!
And the third and my most favourite is the lyricist of these songs - Aatreya. People call him 'manasu kavi" - poet of heart - and that is because he actually speaks heart's language. I can never understand when people say, 'heart is dumb' (మనసు మూగది). Heart has found its mouth piece in form of this man, who can so eloquently speak any of its pain in simplest of words and ways.
మరుపే తెలియని నా హృదయం
తెలిసీ వలచుట తొలి నేరం
అందుకే ఈ గాయం
(despite the fact that my heart can't forget, it has loved you and that's the wound)
గాయాన్ని అయినా మాననీవు
హృదయాన్ని అయినా వీడిపోవు
కాలం నాకు సాయం రాదు
మరణం నన్ను చేరనీదు
(You don't let the wound heal - You don't desert my heart - time doesn't help me - death doesn't let me associate)
కలలకి భయడిపోయాను
నిదురకి దూరం అయ్యాను
వేదన పడ్డాను
(Scared of dreams - distancing sleep - I grieve)
All you insomniacs out there, this is your problem, which no doctor on earth can cure, unless you help your self.
ప్రేమకింత బలం ఉందా?
(Love is this potent?) Brings a smile on my face. Yes, it is more potent that the strongest of "I"s wither away. But words can equally pierce your soul and chisel your heart. Words are potent enough to let us experience without being there. They let us live someone's feelings and emotions, though momentarily.
This song, at the moment, has completely taken me into it. More songs will be talked later.
On an ending note, music, vocals and words are equally potent. Better put, anything that has the heart as focus is always potent!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sick - Sicker - Sickest
I've been sick over the past one week. The sickness during the early part of the week was understandable with the help of words like, "headache", "feverish" and the likes. It isn't the physical weakness that's actually putting me down. There's more to what I feel, as I feel now. I wish these were measurable too.. on any scale. To let know everybody how terrible it is when you get to know that someone whom you respect most ends up being the jerk you hate to the core. To yell at the top of the voice when you're accompanied by a creature who doesn't have the decency not to force things out of people. To tell people that when our social interests don't match, it doesn't mean one of us is unsocial or less civilized.
Any physical ailment is tolerable compared to the pains given by few and their attitudes. More so, when its my kind of people at the receiving end, people who suffer from "i-let-them-cause-me-pain", "my-choice,my-mistake" syndromes.
I don't know when I would realize that few happen to us, be it our choice or not! There has to be a way to deal with such.
Any physical ailment is tolerable compared to the pains given by few and their attitudes. More so, when its my kind of people at the receiving end, people who suffer from "i-let-them-cause-me-pain", "my-choice,my-mistake" syndromes.
I don't know when I would realize that few happen to us, be it our choice or not! There has to be a way to deal with such.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
nonsensically hilarious crap!
"Magadheera - nonsensically hilarious crap!" is my status message for the day and seems like people can't decide my take on that movie. So, here I take the onus of explaining what this movie actually means to me.
It means a lot to me, yeah, no kidding! When is the last time I laughed my head off, literally for 2hours, 40 minutes! Shame on my part that I couldn't manage the first 2 minutes of the movie, because gulping down a sub wasn't that easy. Missed the initial two minutes and good two minutes of laugh too! Oh!
Kurt Vonnegut opines - "Any creation which has any wholeness and harmoniousness, I suspect, was made by an artist or inventor with an audience of one in mind." I wonder who did Rajamouli (the director) had in his mind as audience while directing some of the stunts or scenes of this movie. A set of people, who can switch off their brains as easily as any laptops or mobiles? Probably!
I don't want to waste much of my time, clamoring about the nonsensical part of this movie. I just can't understand or stand, the stupidity involved in these concepts and the execution. Have a star's son, have a famed production unit, get a crap under the name of the love story of 400 years old and then waste innumerable resources, minds, days, efforts and finally stamp it as "a s.s rajamouli film". Good God! My heart goes out for those professionals who put their minds and souls to create some fantastical pieces of work.. but for what? A crap? A miserable crap? Such a WASTE!
Only the other day I had a chance to see Rajamouli's interview, where he talked about his next venture: "I'm trying a new genre. A genre that was never touched. It could be a comedy thriller. None on the screen would be doing comedy, but none watching it can stop laughing. That's what I'm trying." Thank God! Had he been around while I was watching the flick, he would have confused the one on screens with theone under the carpets.
Following the laughter riot, Su advices me.. " i was wondering if the chair broke - don't laugh so much da.. respect the director and his stupidity :P" But all through, I did wonder whether I'm laughing at him, or laughing at myself for choosing to watch the movie! Here's a twist, Su, You got that?
"All imperfection is easier to tolerate if served up in small doses." - The only reason I could complete the movie. Sounds like an achievement! Ahem!
It means a lot to me, yeah, no kidding! When is the last time I laughed my head off, literally for 2hours, 40 minutes! Shame on my part that I couldn't manage the first 2 minutes of the movie, because gulping down a sub wasn't that easy. Missed the initial two minutes and good two minutes of laugh too! Oh!
Kurt Vonnegut opines - "Any creation which has any wholeness and harmoniousness, I suspect, was made by an artist or inventor with an audience of one in mind." I wonder who did Rajamouli (the director) had in his mind as audience while directing some of the stunts or scenes of this movie. A set of people, who can switch off their brains as easily as any laptops or mobiles? Probably!
I don't want to waste much of my time, clamoring about the nonsensical part of this movie. I just can't understand or stand, the stupidity involved in these concepts and the execution. Have a star's son, have a famed production unit, get a crap under the name of the love story of 400 years old and then waste innumerable resources, minds, days, efforts and finally stamp it as "a s.s rajamouli film". Good God! My heart goes out for those professionals who put their minds and souls to create some fantastical pieces of work.. but for what? A crap? A miserable crap? Such a WASTE!
Only the other day I had a chance to see Rajamouli's interview, where he talked about his next venture: "I'm trying a new genre. A genre that was never touched. It could be a comedy thriller. None on the screen would be doing comedy, but none watching it can stop laughing. That's what I'm trying." Thank God! Had he been around while I was watching the flick, he would have confused the one on screens with theone under the carpets.
Following the laughter riot, Su advices me.. " i was wondering if the chair broke - don't laugh so much da.. respect the director and his stupidity :P" But all through, I did wonder whether I'm laughing at him, or laughing at myself for choosing to watch the movie! Here's a twist, Su, You got that?
"All imperfection is easier to tolerate if served up in small doses." - The only reason I could complete the movie. Sounds like an achievement! Ahem!