Monday, June 29, 2009

In the search of a long forgotton song..

Here, I'm talking about a song I heard most, aired on Jaimala program of Vividh Bharathi. I've no clue of what's the film, who composed, who rendered, who enacted. What's worse I can't even recollect the lyrics of the song. And I never watched this song.

All I remember is that (my assumptions included), that the song's situation is the budding romance of a newly wed couple. Or soon to be tied in a knot. He supposedly closes her eyes from behind and asks her to guess who it is. For which she replies,

"hum naam kaise le unkaa, joh dil mein rahthe har dum" or something similar.

As far as I recollect, she actually starts as "You come and close my eyes stealthily, and I know its you, but how can I name the one so close to my heart."

I know, I helped you least. But if you're an ardent fan of old hindi filmy songs, this shouldn't be tough. Any clue?

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Whom would you bat for?

Not everything is by choice! Or we just don't accept at times, we make a choice of not making choices. Whatever! Let's assume you'll have to play a game of cricket for any of these captains, who most certainly make these statements at the end of the lost matches.

a) "Oh! We just never played up to our potential. We never took catches, and that left us nowhere. We look forward to do better."
b) "Well.. we were in the run for most part of the game. But one dropped catch has cost us dearly that we ended up losing. Had we been able to take that catch, things would be different."
c) "Oh.. yes! We lost today and that was because Mr. XYZ has put down an absolute sitter. Had he taken that catch we would have won the match comfortably . Its the team that has to take the bitter pill now."

Whom would you bat for? Also, how different will be your answer if the XYZ is you or not you.

( I know its only handful of people reading this blog. But if you care to leave your answers here, I would be delighted.)

Old City --> Mall Culture

Standing outside of what it seems to be the most sophisticated mall of Hyderbad, GVK One has made me walk down the memory lane to recollect the streets of Koti on busy Sunday evening.

If you're a Hyderabadi of my generation, then all your shopping thirst, ten years back most probably has been quenched at any of the places like Charminar or Koti or General Bazar. And the very same generation now complains about these places that they are too crowded, too suffocating and too narrow for our new found way of living.

However, being at GVK this evening has made me wonder if its just that a casette called "Koti" has been converted to a DVD called "GVK One". The base of it remains all the same, the same crowd, the same chaos, the same shopaholics, but so damn sophisticated in every possible way.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Oh.. Lady! :)

Dorothy Parker! Ever since I stumbled upon her, she keeps me amused. The first time I met her, she was like speaking a gal's heart with great ease. And then, through her poems I found that she speaks her heart even better. (Not many can do that, ones who are so damn good at stretching to step into some other end up being dumb in their own case!)

I'm dying (agreed, that's exaggeration!) to read her works  as soon as possible. Hopefully I'll get my hands on a copy soon!

Meanwhile, here are few lines from her various poems.

Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that cleans up the matter. 
          By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.   Once, when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad-
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And that is very bad.

Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke;
And that, I think, is worse.  

Sunday, June 21, 2009

When the dumb gets to speak..

One of the famous poets in Telugu, Ismail had to say that poetry is like giving voice to a dumb fellow. It isn't that we don't feel many a things, its just that we either lack the knowledge that we're feeling it (which is a blessing in disguise) or there's not enough in you to voice it out. Poetry, so says Ismail is the one which lets a dumb scream his heart out. ( మూగవాని కేక!)

And reading Pablo has been always tough for me, for I love him for what he is and hate him for making me feel sorry for what I'm. Here's the sample..

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I don't know how to comprehend the first line. I-love-you is as it is an insensible group of words in my sense. More so, when it is I-love-you with "Conditions Applied". You love.. you love! If you're trying to answer "why?", then the very sense of love is killed.

But I'm spell bound by the next 3 lines. Whether the fact of being in love is known or not, there is this very presence of "I" always in picture. And that makes very single attempt not to be waiting, not to be loving, not to be pining - adding to the woes

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Leaving alone the first statement, I love this stanza. The phrase / word of "I-love-you" gets onto the nerves for three reasons - the I, the love and the you! So much said and written about love, I'll not ponder on that yet again. The entire emphasis is always laid on that four letter word, that the I and you are so completely ignored assuming they are the well known. "You" should be relatively new, but it is the "I" who gets into a new form. "You" being outside has such an impact on the "I" that it bends like never before. The most inflexible can do all the gymnastic acts, because of the "you", in the presence of "you". Intense love and hate are result of the fact that "I" starts bending to our disbelief.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

The other day, a friend had a status message, "the sound of tears is cool" (కన్నీటి సవ్వడెంత హాయిలే!), which prompted a question from me, "How about the storm inside?" Pat came the reply, "Don't worry, that's never gonna be heard by anyone else"

Its only key to "true" calm that is lost, otherwise just calm can always be acted out.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

Obvious! Because the "you" can't be killed (because of being loved) and love? Well, its like the "rakshasas" in the mythological stories, you aim to target it, it disappears with villainous laugh only to re-appear. The left one is "I" and can be killed!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Butterfly reader.. hehehehe..

Encountered this word while reading H.G. Wells, wherein he says, "The last four words will not attract the butterfly reader, I know. "

I'm loving that word, may be because I love butterflies or may be because I myself flutter a lot. That word is amusing me and kind of tickles me.

Googled around, but never found anything useful. (courtesy: my slothful search techniques) Let me know if you've something to share!

(Butterfly reader... what I call in my language, కల్తీ లేని తిట్టు! )

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

noreply@offense.com

"Please don't reply to this mail" is the message in some of the auto-generated mails. Saves our time and energy. That's okay!

"Please don't reply to this mail" a scorned person writes to someone. Hmm.. matter's turned too serious to be ignored.

Apart from these two occasions, every other mail (or the archaic letter) has an unstated request of "Please do reply, would be waiting!" , which is most often conveniently and comfortably overlooked. Most of us understand that it is a courtesy to at least acknowledge the mail, if not to give it the detailed attention. Nevertheless, we're most inclined to miss the reply and then give ourselves a thousand and one reasons for not letting that happen, be it laziness or lack of interest or too busy or procrastination or indifference or whatever.

On the rarest of occasions though, there's a chance of learning the way through harshest experiences. A casual mail not getting reply might be a time saver, but what if you've attached far too much of importance to it? A silence - a complete void leading to a struggle to decide whether you were ignored (so that you can be humiliated) or missed (to let it go off ) or you weren't liked ( to feel sorry or reciprocate). You can't tune your response as emotions vacillate. Well, we keep missing, we keep offending and we do humiliate. Happens!

What's interesting is that this no-reply business elicits wrath from the giants too, they're human too!

Tagore, for instance has this to write to his unresponsive wife, "Thought you'd reply to me, at least by mistake!" - Sarcasm!

Any delay in response from Indira Gandhi, makes her father write, "You might be too busy, to give a reply" or "You're doing good? How's your health?" or something of that nature. Doubts hovering around of her well being.

Rilke seems to be prompt enough to offer his apologies to a young poet!

Kafka? No, we're not talking about him!

Have I read some other book that was collection of letters? I can't remember. Bad!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Boxed voice..

With dry and aching eyes, I couldn't afford to watch much of the T20 WC action in live. Tucked under blanket, thought "hearing" cricket can't be a bad idea either. Eyes shut and ears wide open, I get to listen a match on TV. Tough as it was getting, I get to hear this one man's voice, for whose interviews I used to await eagerly. It's now much easier to lie under the blanket than when he is action.

Anil Kumble's bowling is anyway clinical, but his voice for me is irresistible! And to have him now in the commentator's box is immense pleasure for someone like me who's fascinated by voices. Saurav's another guy, I'd love to hear day in and day out.

Alas! The moment of joy was soon galloped by the thought - my heroes who had triumph and glory on the field have now vacated their thrones to occupy a corner seat of a closed box. Probably, these are the signs of aging - apart from the usual grey hair and wrinkles - that the people around me whom I associate your childhood with, without whom life would've been less passionate, have now moved on to new ways of life because of their age. And it is now on my turn to introduce these commentators as my idols to the younger lot.

For the first time ever, I wish the prime of youth doesn't pass off. To feel young, seems like you need a lot many others to remain young.

Presence, Kafka, jabber

"Presence is irrefutable", so writes Kafka to his girl, trying to convince her that words written aren't capable enough to project him what he is. He insists that physical presence helps great deal to "know" the person.

I just can't understand when people believe the fault is of the mode of communication, rather than their own doing when it comes to misunderstandings. No doubt, physical presence is more effective in terms of expressing through the body as well as the words. That said, a wink, a raised eyebrow, a smile and the likes can also be thoroughly misread by others.


If technology gives thousand novel ways of connecting people, there seems to be million new ways of misinterpreting them. If it is faceless, doesn't mean it got to be heartless. If it is instant, it doesn't mean it can't have lingering effect on you. If it is expressionless, doesn't mean it is unemotional.

Any device or technology can at the most help in laying the path between two individuals. Now, how is the journey traversed is entirely up to the ones in it. Just because you can't see the person, it won't be easy for you in anyway. Every mode has its own charm. Every path has its own thorns.

And Mr. Kafka, any presence is irrefutable!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Being personal..


Joe Fox
: It wasn't... personal.
Kathleen Kelly: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's *personal* to a lot of people. And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?
Joe Fox: Uh, nothing.
Kathleen Kelly: Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.

Quote from You've got mail!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Deception

"Deceiving is a way of life too" is what my friend's gtalk status message bar read a few days back. "Absolutely" was my instant reaction. What follows here is a series of random thoughts on the same line.

We take offense to somebody lying to us, hiding truth from us, manipulating facts and representing in a form which we may be okay with, unless we know that isn't what it is. Once realized that we've been fooled, we now want the purpose behind. If the intention was nothing but cheating, then the integrity of other person is questioned. And worse case, when the "purpose" to save us from some misery or give us a moment of relief or joy, there's much more to worry. Is it that I can't take the truth? Am I not strong enough to face facts? Have I been so convincingly fooled that it makes me vulnerable? So and so forth.

"Deceiving is the way of life." Blessed are the ones who trust completely and can never doubt. Because, without the art of deceiving, it is next to impossible to lead life. You got to fool around with everybody, every single instance. An acquaintance queries "how are you?" and you end up with a forced smile and "Oh.. very well, Thank you!". A very close friend probes, "how are you?" and there you'll be with a fake smile and "everything's fine.. it's just that occasionally..... otherwise and all.... you see".  Neither time nor the courtesies nor the bonding would actually allow you to be completely honest to a frequent question like this. All through, we're bound with so limitations and to deceive. The movies, the television, the magic shows are all forms of deception, it's just entertainment through fooling yourself.

Thought of that day was: "It's one hell to be in love, as you can neither fool or be fooled" which was shared with the same friend. And her reply was: "You can be fooled, but you crave to be fooled more." No Comments!
 
Fool around! Be fooled! Make merry!   

Midnight GYAAN!

"We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to."

Somerset Maugham

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Too long together,,

"Too long together and even courtesy is gone.. people are more courteous to strangers than they are to their own wives and husbands. Two people tied to each other like hungry dogs fighting over every little scrap between them. Look at us, even us! You raised your voice to me! I didn't come into your life to make you angry. If you don't like me as I'm, just say so and I'm gone! Together too long, and it is chains and duties and responsibilities, no delights, no adventures, no thank you!"

- Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Damn it... how hard is it to be yourself?

(When there are few sane voices around you trying hard to put in stuff into your head, you either have to heed to them, or rant like this almost at midnight with not so sound health. )

I'm not worried about the result of the match nor about the show put up by the Indians so far, but how ridiculous Dhoni has been all through his innings. Not just this particular innings, it's been a while that he found a gratuitous approach to his game. The audacious Dhoni who massacred any bowling attack is now a distant memory!

The fact that he has been terribly struggling doesn't hurt me as much as the way he has chosen to go about things. Yes, there'll be numerous voices out there professing about "n" no. of virtues you don't posses. Does that only mean you'll have to start acquiring all of them, by trail and error method, and forget what you've been endowed with?

Impatience is a way of life, if that's your way too - SO BE IT!
Only fools rush.... don't worry! End of the day, if you win the race, you won't be tagged as "foolish" winner. If you lose, you'll anyways get an earful.
If your blood gushes out at every opportunity, go make it big! Resistance is USELESS!

Oh.. there is adaptability too, just round the corner. But if that starts hurting your innate strengths, just leave it there at that very corner. You'll be named "inflexible". You choose another way, you'll be called otherwise.

Straightly put: As long as you get the results, the world sings your tune. And to get results, you'll have to be you. Chances of being successful is far less when you're busy trying to be what you're not.

Incongruous are the man management skills of a team, that forces compromises out of its best men. Sachin has fallen prey to this weird theory of sacrificing his best, in name of team's benefit or whatever crap. Thankfully, Sehwag couldn't be bend. He is what HE IS!

Afridi makes more sense to me, going out and out at the very first ball of every single game he plays. He's a no-hoper in terms of batting these days, is still understandable; success or no-success he has his way.

Dhoni.. you gotta BE YOURSELF!

( I can now sleep peacefully.. I needed this outlet, very badly!)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Fed is the Champ..

I can't wait to post this. I just can't! It's been such a long time,being-almost-there and then losing every single time. Enough of heartbreaks! Here's the new champ of clay - ROGER FEDERER!

Absolutely delighted for this man. Last year's Wimbledon and this year's Australian Open have been worrisome and he triumphing on clay is a wonderful treat to any of his fans. Holding the breath for the Wimbledon to start. I wish it would the repeat of last year's clash with a different winner.

One of the most incredible of things that I got to witness today is not his lovely shots, but that tear rolling on his cheek, mid-way through the Swiss national anthem being played during the presentation ceremony. Have I ever seen a tear so elegantly rolling on somebody's cheek! The wildest of turmoils inside transforms its way to outside, so calmly! Even nature thunders, where does this lad hide all his emotions to remain as placid as he does?  That's why he is the most loved.

Thanks Heaven, to be sharing an era with such a soul - an embodiment of the celebration of human spirit!

Monday, June 1, 2009

T-I-M-E

Landed up on the following verse, while randomly browsing. All I can now say about it is, what a time to find it.
*******************************************************************************
For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Agreed, there is a "time" for everything! But, how the hell, do you know this is the "time"? Do you await it, or go with the guts? And when finally things go terribly wrong, will time take it's share of blame?

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWg3b15ITS8&feature=related