Deal with it, baby!

Thanks to Stephene Meyer and her Twilight Saga, I've quite a bit idea about the vampires and werewolves. In fact, it's the characterization of Edward that keeps me hooked on to this teenage fiction series. I've read only the Twilight book, but have seen it and "New Moon" on the silver screen. Jacob - a werewolf - was least impressive for me, but "werewolf" is the topic of this post.

A once-upon-a-time-friend (how do you refer to a friend when friendship ceases to exist?) used to push me a lot to read non-fiction works. Every time he recommended me a non-fiction book, he got rhetoric, "That reads better than super thriller romantic comedy novel. Do read it." I've been reading quite a bit of technical related works, these days and I bet without any doubts, those are few of the well written books I've read.

One such is Frederick Brooks's essay: "No Silver Bullet." I'd write about this article in my technical blog, but for now a one line summary of this article: Software is the werewolf, which has no silver bullets. I was stumped by the impeccable style of Brooks in carrying the metaphor till the end. Werewolves are characters in folklore, who are humans almost all the time, but when they aren't they turn into wolves. The point here is, something so familiar suddenly turns into a bloody monster. It seems, silver bullets have a magical effect in calming down the werewolves.

Enough of introduction (yeah, all of that was introduction!), I wanna get to the topic now. I was thinking of the same lines of familiar-turn-furious cases in life and ended up with quite a few. But the first prize goes to: TIME.

TIME, they say, is a healer. Though, in most cases, it's like 'operation success, patient dead.' Time also keeps testing the nerves. Why do people dread failure so much? Because a re-attempt means hell lot of time, all over again. We are time-bound. We're nothing but time-bound product. By three weeks, start staring the ceiling fan, by three months, take the first turn, by nine months start walking, by three years go to school, by teenage start dealing with existentialism, by fifteen fall for somebody, by nineteen decide your career, by twenties start your career, by 30's *settle* in life, by 40's plan and save for kids, by 50's make sure your kids *settle* in life, by 60's RETIRE.. and if in any of these, you're not up to the mark, then, that is where TIME becomes the monster. It scares you, it drives you crazy. Look back and the whole of past would be ready to sweep you off as a Tsunami wave.

Past Imperfect. Present Tense. Future Complex.

And alas, are there any silver bullets? No. Yes? Let me know. How about this - "ho sake tho zindagi bitaa do.. pal yeh jo jaane waala hai..."

Moral of the story, any story of a werewolf without silver bullets: Deal with it, baby!

... inebriated ecstasy ...

I miss Kafka, these days. As if none among the living is worth missing, I choose to miss the dead often. How often did your soul wanted to dance and your feet fail to stand up? How often did it want to dissipate into eternity and you couldn't even understand that? Kafka, in his engaging prose, kept complaining about a trampled soul trapped in a decent body. I've an exact opposite problem. Added to that, I can't express myself. Now, doesn't that justify me missing Kafka?

"pee loon, hai peene kaa mausam" - professes a song from Once Upon A Time in Mumbaai. I've been drunk too, drunk on happiness, drunk on life, so much so that it's hard not to stagger, not to stammer. Yet, I've decided to write something on the album that has swept me off.

I was introduced to this album through the song, "pee loon.." , which is truly an intoxicant.


Mujh mein samayi hai yun, Jis tarah ki koi ho nadi
Tu mere seenay mein chupti hai, sagar tumhara main hoon

These are the lines that make this song an exhilaration, for me. Bollywood poets were always good at getting to heart of man-woman relationships; the above line, in its various forms, already part of numerous songs. But the amour prope shown by the man here - in being her saagar - amuses me.

The rest of the song is good too, passionately rendered and beautifully composed. Having listened to it many times, I conveniently skipped checking the album in full, until I came across the song "tum jo aaye" by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan. Listened to it. Got bowled over. I keep listening to it. And I enjoy getting myself bowled over again and again. This is one of the best songs that happened in Bollywood, recently. I can't talk much about the music, but I'm sure it has enough to sway anybody to its tune. The semi-classical base and Khan's voice make this song a beauty, especially the start of the song:

Paya maine, paya tumhe, rab ne milaya tumhe, Hontun pe sajaya tumhe, nag mein sagaya tumhe
Paya maine, paya tumhe, sab se chupaya tumhe,Sapna banaya tumhe, neendun mein bulaya

Breathless rendition leaves you gasping with ecstasy. And the more I talk about the lyrics, the less, I feel I could express.

Zindagi bewafa hai yeh maana magar
Chod kar raah mein jaoge tum agar
Cheen launga main aasman se tumhe
Soona hoga na yeh, do dilon ka nagar

Again! I-damn-the-death-when-it's-you attitude has been part of Bollywood for long, but the way these lines are rendered take it to a new height.

The lines that I like most in this song are, the following:

Mere dil ki jeet meri baat ban gayi
Hoo tum jo aaye zindagi mein baat ban gayi

Fall in love. That's the ticket to stay put a visit in both hell and heaven. You keep swinging between dreams and practicalities, between spring and autumn, between life and death, between excruciating pain and exhilaration. If I can tweak those wordings a little, "mere dil ki jeet meri maat ban gayi.. tum jo aaye zindagi mein baat ban gayi" capturing the irony of love.

The re-use of the old song "parda.." isn't very great, though the original has such a magic that it can easily live next 100 years, with or without remixes. And that leaves just two others songs in this album. "babu rao.." song is a funky, for-the-masses song, however is good enough to catch one's attention. The big plus of this album is that the songs have captured the soul of each character very well, be it the 'can't help being love' souls in above and soon to be followed song or the typical i-me-myself character in this song. The lyrics catch the mood well, and liked the song a lot - especially the lines: babu rao mast hai, mast hai, mast mast hai - makes me mast!

Final song of the album is a usual, listen-i'm-in-love song. The lyrics, though, are refreshingly beautiful.

Baadal pe chalta hoon main, girta sambhalta hoon main
Khwaishein karta hoon main, khone se darta hoon main
Jaaga na soya hoon main, musafir khoya hoon main
Kuch sarfira sa hoon main, budhu zara sa hoon main

A typical Indian male for you! The dreamer, the fighter, the yearner, the lover, the traveler all rolled into one - what a combination, delightful and frightful at the same time. Alas, if only the characterization in films could reflect what the songs convey. The directors either aren't poetic enough or can't translate that onto celluloid. I'm not pinning any hopes on this movie, despite such lovely songs.

Monsoon suits both: fall in love and fail in love cases. However, when such music comes to your rescue, you can fall in love, all over again. Just as the raindrops falling onto you titillate you, let the music grow on you.

Get drunk. Stay drunk. On music. On life. On love.

pee lo.. hai peene kaa mausam..

Monsoon Exclusive..

Only few things can be more beautiful than the droplets of rain on a glass pane. And I'm happy that they are on my blog background too.. :)

*Random* Thoughts..

I'll find it hard not to speak the object oriented language in this post. I can only try not to overdo it.

If success is a method, my inputs to it would be "what occupies my mind" and the output I would like to get is "better myself". But the world has a different way of calling it - "what you give it in terms of time and money" and expects "ahead of the crowd".

And at particular instances, when we have to compare the results, I seem to be a weird to the world and weirdly enough, the world seems weird to me.

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Everything you do "online" is called *VIRTUAL* - Existing in essence or effect though not in actual fact. Imagine spending 14 out of 48 hours on a single task of listening to lectures. I was *virtually* at Stanford University, all ears while Prof.Sahami is teaching. But still, I can't either call him *my* lecturer or call myself as *his* student. Me listening to him is a fact, he teaching me is a fact, my knowledge isn't a myth, yet, we don't *know* each other. It would have been a different story had I been in his class, albeit half asleep.

Why presence takes precedence over essence? Why can't anything *virtual* be given its worth?

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I came to a conclusion: I've the right to happiness and it's my duty to find it in whatever way I can. And to let the happiness retain, one should be good at the *ignoring* business.

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Once upon a time, words and silence co-existed. Words were undermined. Silence was over-rated. First, words were killed saying they were never good enough, thus crowning silence. The deafeningly loud silence caused panic. There was desperate search for words.. one or two in the dying stages were used as rescue, before they eventually died. Silence only got louder. Words can be shut out with silence. How about silence?

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Ever known a musician who dedicates his album to the instrument he plays? Ever known a writer who dedicates his work to the table he used to write? Ever seen an artist dedicating his art to the tool which produced it?

I've known Knuth. I found a new world to embrace.

Ek chota sa waada ish umr se jyada sachcha hai...

"Zindagi do pal ki, zindagi do pal ki" - I'm soaking in this song, all through the evening. The review of the album, reckoned these songs need patient listening to be liked and to be loved. I overheard just a line of this particular song, and was "wow"ed. And that continued. That is continuing.

The two lines that I overheard were: 

"Intezaar kab tak hum karenge bhala
Tumhe pyaar kab tak na karenge bhala" 

These lines were special, especially the wordings, "pyaar kab tak na karenge bhala". The usual desperation and helplessness, so very well showcased in numerous songs, but the unusualness here is the surprise element - I can't stop myself from loving you for long. Sweet way of telling, I keep loving you. :)

KK's rendition of the song is amazing. He just stretches the words to the effect of leaving scars on the soul. The pain he brings into his voice, is too good to be believe it's fake.

Dil mein tumhare Chupa Di
Hai Maine to apni yeh Jaan..
Ab tumhi isko sambhalo..
Hamein upna hosh kaha..

I got into a talk with one of my buddies on gtalk about love and the conclusion I got out of it was: Loving is leasing your life. Its like saying, "I love you. Here is my heart. Here is my life. Do whatever you want to do with them. I'll be the spectator to your play." When you lease out, I guess, you put down some terms and conditions. Here, since its love and no business, no terms, no conditions, no wins, only losses. If I write lose for love, then don't think I misspelled it. :P 

Ek chota sa waada ish umr se jyada sachcha hai sanam...
Har Mod par saath isliye rehte ab dono hum....
Dosti Do Pal Ki....
Zindagi Do Pal Ki....

These are the lines which prompted this post. All through my life, I was hearing the phrase "seller of dreams" associated to Bollywood. That's alright! Off late, I amazed by the kind of poetry that exists in the songs. I don't know nor can dare to imagine, what these poets go through to come up with these lines. 

Promises made during emotional roller coaster rides, promises made in the hope to make things better, promises made in a hurry to keep holding the hands, promises made in desperation to prove love, a simple two word statement "I promise.", becomes more important than what you are, who you are. You stand by it despite the storm. Storm, at times, manages to take the other away from you. And you stand still. 

By the way, when "dosti" has "do pal" and "zindagi" as well has only "do pal", then dosti = zindagi?! Says it all! :)    

Getting a li'l crazy, remove dost from dosti, to be still left with I. Many think, this "I" is of no or lesser value. But it should be kept intact, I say! For you never know when the dost joins in.

Intezaar Kab tak hum karenge bhala... (jab tak jeete rahenge bhala)
Tumhe pyaar kab tak na karenge bhala....(jab tak hamara pyar, pyar na lage)
Zindagi do pal ki
Zindagi.....

Karthik calling Karthik..

Some days are special, because there's nothing special about them. It was just another holiday, it was just another festival not celebrated, it was just hanging out with friends - opting same menu for lunch and watching yet another movie. Everything's mundane, but every single moment is exploited to get the best out of it. Not sure, if it happens because of company one is in or one's own mood helps. But yes, a meet after a long time is something to treasure.

So, yes, I watched Karthik calling Karthik. I'm hesitating to write about it, because I'm still in awe of it. Tonight I might shower praises on it, give me two days and I'll get you the picky report possible. Also, I think I began to take a liking to Farhan Akhtar. I enjoy watching him on the screen. Luck, by chance - had a similar magic on me. And also, I'm just too amazed to see Bollywood move away from stereotypes and getting some fresh breeze for itself. I'm happy that the guy whose name is first on the credits, is no longer a super hero, a saint! He started resembling a normal, average Indian. I'm happy that women are no longer the sati savitris or run-around-trees mortals. Not that seeing an Indian woman smoke in style on the screen is a thrill. It simply reflects us. And women in film can be mean, can be disloyal. There's not much dishum-dishum as well, the wrestling with self is trying to be portrayed. The subjects Bollywood is undertaking are worth a pat. Keep going, folks!

Well, coming to the movie. The lead is a guy called Karthik and is a soul crushed under thousand and one insecurities - can't say "NO" to people, is guilty that he screwed up lives, not happy with job - and who happily lets anybody take advantage of him. More importantly, he is in love with a hot chic who is not even aware of his existence, just to add to his list of failures. (The style statement these days, probably.) Amidst the chaos, he makes sure he seeks a psychiatrist's advice. One bad day, he ends up losing his job and he has no friends to wish on his birthday, thus takes a very intellectual decision of killing himself - oops, pardon my language - he was giving himself another chance, you see. He takes a handful of sleeping pills (he has a STOCK of them) and at that very moment receives a call. Who's calling? Will that call be successful to pull this guy out of depression? Will this guy be helped or pulled into further mess? Oh, how about Deepika? - check all these on the big screen. (I guess, Karthik is a Telugu guy, his father happens to be reading "Eenadu" in his childhood. Somebody can confirm?)

It's one of those Hindi movies for me, where I love most frames of it. Say, for example, the opening frame - the guy wakes up from a nightmare, a ray of light falling on half his face and there's a drop of tear on the other half of face in dark. I liked the way sleeping pills spill out of his hand onto floor. The locales of Khandala, Kocchi were well shot. Some of the dialogues were too good. "You're a safe guy!" - the line and the follow up has raised huge roar from audience. The lines were punchy and catchy. The narration was good too, if I keep my usual complaint of too much of screen time to myself.

Finally something to nag about. This is a movie dealing with "the uncommon", but as usual in the end, they make it a "feel-good" movie - all is well, before the credits roll. For me, this guy having an unusual problem or being just a short tempered guy wouldn't have made much difference to the story. Somehow the fact that something unusual has unusual effects is comfortably and conveniently ignored, which ends up this movie as just another good movie, instead of a better one. I'm amazed with the fact that the Indian film makers never really ventured into showcasing relations on a "how-it-happens-in-daily-life" basis on the screen. I find it always superficial. (Now, please don't start with Rays and Benegals and all.)

"Karthik" happens to be one of the names I'm fascinated about. Voices are also of my fascination. Farhan Akhtar's voice was disappointing, especially over the phone.

Kudos to the team which did this film! It's thoroughly enjoyable. I liked it, though I see a wasted opportunity. As always.

Final thought: Seems like the modern day man-woman relationship is all about dealing with insecurities - of one's own and the others. You and I and we all are, nothing but a bunch of insecurities!

Go watch this movie, NOW!

Dreams I wish to fulfill

A decade passed, but I still vividly remember signing a Slam book for a schoolmate, in which against the heading "Dreams I wish to fulfill", I wrote, "I wanna win the Bharata Ratna."

Then during the plus two farewell, I grew up a bit and ended up signing "Would be nice if there are couple of awards in my name. " That was surely growing up from aiming to win a Nobel Prize to being a Alfred Nobel.

And then at the end of graduation, I was dreaming of ruling the IT industry. That famous line of SRK in almost all of his biographic shows, "mein is sheher ko kareed ke rahoongaa" referring Mumbai. I was like the very same, to better the IT - be a new face of IT.

Now, with few years in IT and a hell lot of experiences in life and with people, if you ask me what's your dream at this moment, with my head pounding and sleepless nights in my account.. I 'd say, "My dream is to have dreamless sleep." :P  I need nothing more than that at this moment. I'm sure, that is what I would want in rest of life too.

But since S. tagged me for dreams not related to the dreams in sleep, I'll have to think about them.

Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore or Abhinav Bindra, I don't remember who, exclaimed that fulfilling a dream is like getting on to the top of a mountain painstakingly to see that there's nothing on the peak. It's not a place to be stayed back and have picnic. You'll have to come down. So, fulfilling dreams is all about enjoying the process of fulfilling the dream.

I'd love to tag myself as a dreamer, but I know, I'm NOT a dreamer. Or, if it can be comprehended by anyone, I'd rather call myself a practical dreamer. I know that either sounds ignorant or pseudo-intellectual, but that's me! When confronted with situations and scenarios, I've always chosen to be practical - nothing but practical. I could be called cold, emotionless or similar adjectives, still I'm that. I dream within the realms of practicality. Being so is enormously draining, because you'll have constant meddling with anything and everything that your heart does. In a way, my brain takes guard of my heart as a elder one would protect his younger sibling. They've an understanding, which I end up respecting time and again.

Nevertheless, since I was tagged to blog about dreams that I wish to fulfill, they would be:

Someone happens to inquire my life, "Hey.. how's Purnima treating you?" (just the way people ask me, how's life treating you?), I dream of it saying, "She's cool.. even otherwise, we've got a way together. We are either ok or 'll be ok petty soon. No worries."

However erratic and eluding it might be and however much helpless a human being I might be, I somehow dream of partnering the best with my life. :) OVER-AMBITIOUS! You're permitted to say that aloud. :P

One of my latest wildest and craziest of dreams is to take communication between human beings to the next level - a no-language communicative mode. Then I needn't blog like this to tell my dreams, all I need is to open a firewall kinda thing in my brain and allow a set of brains to peek in what's happening in the part of my brain, where dreams are stored. Hope at least then, human beings get to understand one another. (idea copyrights@PT :P)

Another dream of mine is to successfully transfer to my kids, the happiness I experienced because of one man called Sachin Tendulkar. Sure, they'll have loads and loads of digital gadgets to watch the man in action and have reams and reams written about him. Its not sitting with them to watch a video or brag about Sach for hours together. I don't know what exactly it is, but I somehow dream of my kids enjoying the same happiness as their mother did, not necessarily  because of same person.

I dream of meeting a hell lot of people in my life. No, I'm not talking about the big names, about my heroes. This is about people who walk into your life for a brief time and roll away as a wave that hits the shore. I'm not a believer of life-long-friends. People should walk in to walk out after a while. And the taste of rendezvous for life!

I dream of becoming a better friend. I wonder, if I can be bettered. Am I not hopeless in ways, folks? How do you tolerate me?

I dream of not losing the kid in me.. JUST NO WAY!

The list continues... so I better stop.  Thanks S, it was nice time dreaming about dreams. :)