I'll find it hard not to speak the object oriented language in this post. I can only try not to overdo it.
If success is a method, my inputs to it would be "what occupies my mind" and the output I would like to get is "better myself". But the world has a different way of calling it - "what you give it in terms of time and money" and expects "ahead of the crowd".
And at particular instances, when we have to compare the results, I seem to be a weird to the world and weirdly enough, the world seems weird to me.
_________________________________________________________
Everything you do "online" is called *VIRTUAL* - Existing in essence or effect though not in actual fact. Imagine spending 14 out of 48 hours on a single task of listening to lectures. I was *virtually* at Stanford University, all ears while Prof.Sahami is teaching. But still, I can't either call him *my* lecturer or call myself as *his* student. Me listening to him is a fact, he teaching me is a fact, my knowledge isn't a myth, yet, we don't *know* each other. It would have been a different story had I been in his class, albeit half asleep.
Why presence takes precedence over essence? Why can't anything *virtual* be given its worth?
____________________________________________________________
I came to a conclusion: I've the right to happiness and it's my duty to find it in whatever way I can. And to let the happiness retain, one should be good at the *ignoring* business.
_________________________________________________________
Once upon a time, words and silence co-existed. Words were undermined. Silence was over-rated. First, words were killed saying they were never good enough, thus crowning silence. The deafeningly loud silence caused panic. There was desperate search for words.. one or two in the dying stages were used as rescue, before they eventually died. Silence only got louder. Words can be shut out with silence. How about silence?
_________________________________________________________
Ever known a musician who dedicates his album to the instrument he plays? Ever known a writer who dedicates his work to the table he used to write? Ever seen an artist dedicating his art to the tool which produced it?
I've known Knuth. I found a new world to embrace.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Ek chota sa waada ish umr se jyada sachcha hai...
"Zindagi do pal ki, zindagi do pal ki" - I'm soaking in this song, all through the evening. The review of the album, reckoned these songs need patient listening to be liked and to be loved. I overheard just a line of this particular song, and was "wow"ed. And that continued. That is continuing.
The two lines that I overheard were:
"Intezaar kab tak hum karenge bhala
Tumhe pyaar kab tak na karenge bhala"
Tumhe pyaar kab tak na karenge bhala"
These lines were special, especially the wordings, "pyaar kab tak na karenge bhala". The usual desperation and helplessness, so very well showcased in numerous songs, but the unusualness here is the surprise element - I can't stop myself from loving you for long. Sweet way of telling, I keep loving you. :)
KK's rendition of the song is amazing. He just stretches the words to the effect of leaving scars on the soul. The pain he brings into his voice, is too good to be believe it's fake.
Dil mein tumhare Chupa Di
Hai Maine to apni yeh Jaan..
Ab tumhi isko sambhalo..
Hamein upna hosh kaha..
I got into a talk with one of my buddies on gtalk about love and the conclusion I got out of it was: Loving is leasing your life. Its like saying, "I love you. Here is my heart. Here is my life. Do whatever you want to do with them. I'll be the spectator to your play." When you lease out, I guess, you put down some terms and conditions. Here, since its love and no business, no terms, no conditions, no wins, only losses. If I write lose for love, then don't think I misspelled it. :P
Ek chota sa waada ish umr se jyada sachcha hai sanam...
Har Mod par saath isliye rehte ab dono hum....
Dosti Do Pal Ki....
Zindagi Do Pal Ki....
These are the lines which prompted this post. All through my life, I was hearing the phrase "seller of dreams" associated to Bollywood. That's alright! Off late, I amazed by the kind of poetry that exists in the songs. I don't know nor can dare to imagine, what these poets go through to come up with these lines.
Promises made during emotional roller coaster rides, promises made in the hope to make things better, promises made in a hurry to keep holding the hands, promises made in desperation to prove love, a simple two word statement "I promise.", becomes more important than what you are, who you are. You stand by it despite the storm. Storm, at times, manages to take the other away from you. And you stand still.
By the way, when "dosti" has "do pal" and "zindagi" as well has only "do pal", then dosti = zindagi?! Says it all! :)
Getting a li'l crazy, remove dost from dosti, to be still left with I. Many think, this "I" is of no or lesser value. But it should be kept intact, I say! For you never know when the dost joins in.
Intezaar Kab tak hum karenge bhala... (jab tak jeete rahenge bhala)
Tumhe pyaar kab tak na karenge bhala....(jab tak hamara pyar, pyar na lage)
Zindagi do pal ki
Zindagi.....
Monday, March 1, 2010
Karthik calling Karthik..
Some days are special, because there's nothing special about them. It was just another holiday, it was just another festival not celebrated, it was just hanging out with friends - opting same menu for lunch and watching yet another movie. Everything's mundane, but every single moment is exploited to get the best out of it. Not sure, if it happens because of company one is in or one's own mood helps. But yes, a meet after a long time is something to treasure.
So, yes, I watched Karthik calling Karthik. I'm hesitating to write about it, because I'm still in awe of it. Tonight I might shower praises on it, give me two days and I'll get you the picky report possible. Also, I think I began to take a liking to Farhan Akhtar. I enjoy watching him on the screen. Luck, by chance - had a similar magic on me. And also, I'm just too amazed to see Bollywood move away from stereotypes and getting some fresh breeze for itself. I'm happy that the guy whose name is first on the credits, is no longer a super hero, a saint! He started resembling a normal, average Indian. I'm happy that women are no longer the sati savitris or run-around-trees mortals. Not that seeing an Indian woman smoke in style on the screen is a thrill. It simply reflects us. And women in film can be mean, can be disloyal. There's not much dishum-dishum as well, the wrestling with self is trying to be portrayed. The subjects Bollywood is undertaking are worth a pat. Keep going, folks!
Well, coming to the movie. The lead is a guy called Karthik and is a soul crushed under thousand and one insecurities - can't say "NO" to people, is guilty that he screwed up lives, not happy with job - and who happily lets anybody take advantage of him. More importantly, he is in love with a hot chic who is not even aware of his existence, just to add to his list of failures. (The style statement these days, probably.) Amidst the chaos, he makes sure he seeks a psychiatrist's advice. One bad day, he ends up losing his job and he has no friends to wish on his birthday, thus takes a very intellectual decision of killing himself - oops, pardon my language - he was giving himself another chance, you see. He takes a handful of sleeping pills (he has a STOCK of them) and at that very moment receives a call. Who's calling? Will that call be successful to pull this guy out of depression? Will this guy be helped or pulled into further mess? Oh, how about Deepika? - check all these on the big screen. (I guess, Karthik is a Telugu guy, his father happens to be reading "Eenadu" in his childhood. Somebody can confirm?)
It's one of those Hindi movies for me, where I love most frames of it. Say, for example, the opening frame - the guy wakes up from a nightmare, a ray of light falling on half his face and there's a drop of tear on the other half of face in dark. I liked the way sleeping pills spill out of his hand onto floor. The locales of Khandala, Kocchi were well shot. Some of the dialogues were too good. "You're a safe guy!" - the line and the follow up has raised huge roar from audience. The lines were punchy and catchy. The narration was good too, if I keep my usual complaint of too much of screen time to myself.
Finally something to nag about. This is a movie dealing with "the uncommon", but as usual in the end, they make it a "feel-good" movie - all is well, before the credits roll. For me, this guy having an unusual problem or being just a short tempered guy wouldn't have made much difference to the story. Somehow the fact that something unusual has unusual effects is comfortably and conveniently ignored, which ends up this movie as just another good movie, instead of a better one. I'm amazed with the fact that the Indian film makers never really ventured into showcasing relations on a "how-it-happens-in-daily-life" basis on the screen. I find it always superficial. (Now, please don't start with Rays and Benegals and all.)
"Karthik" happens to be one of the names I'm fascinated about. Voices are also of my fascination. Farhan Akhtar's voice was disappointing, especially over the phone.
Kudos to the team which did this film! It's thoroughly enjoyable. I liked it, though I see a wasted opportunity. As always.
Final thought: Seems like the modern day man-woman relationship is all about dealing with insecurities - of one's own and the others. You and I and we all are, nothing but a bunch of insecurities!
Go watch this movie, NOW!
So, yes, I watched Karthik calling Karthik. I'm hesitating to write about it, because I'm still in awe of it. Tonight I might shower praises on it, give me two days and I'll get you the picky report possible. Also, I think I began to take a liking to Farhan Akhtar. I enjoy watching him on the screen. Luck, by chance - had a similar magic on me. And also, I'm just too amazed to see Bollywood move away from stereotypes and getting some fresh breeze for itself. I'm happy that the guy whose name is first on the credits, is no longer a super hero, a saint! He started resembling a normal, average Indian. I'm happy that women are no longer the sati savitris or run-around-trees mortals. Not that seeing an Indian woman smoke in style on the screen is a thrill. It simply reflects us. And women in film can be mean, can be disloyal. There's not much dishum-dishum as well, the wrestling with self is trying to be portrayed. The subjects Bollywood is undertaking are worth a pat. Keep going, folks!
Well, coming to the movie. The lead is a guy called Karthik and is a soul crushed under thousand and one insecurities - can't say "NO" to people, is guilty that he screwed up lives, not happy with job - and who happily lets anybody take advantage of him. More importantly, he is in love with a hot chic who is not even aware of his existence, just to add to his list of failures. (The style statement these days, probably.) Amidst the chaos, he makes sure he seeks a psychiatrist's advice. One bad day, he ends up losing his job and he has no friends to wish on his birthday, thus takes a very intellectual decision of killing himself - oops, pardon my language - he was giving himself another chance, you see. He takes a handful of sleeping pills (he has a STOCK of them) and at that very moment receives a call. Who's calling? Will that call be successful to pull this guy out of depression? Will this guy be helped or pulled into further mess? Oh, how about Deepika? - check all these on the big screen. (I guess, Karthik is a Telugu guy, his father happens to be reading "Eenadu" in his childhood. Somebody can confirm?)
It's one of those Hindi movies for me, where I love most frames of it. Say, for example, the opening frame - the guy wakes up from a nightmare, a ray of light falling on half his face and there's a drop of tear on the other half of face in dark. I liked the way sleeping pills spill out of his hand onto floor. The locales of Khandala, Kocchi were well shot. Some of the dialogues were too good. "You're a safe guy!" - the line and the follow up has raised huge roar from audience. The lines were punchy and catchy. The narration was good too, if I keep my usual complaint of too much of screen time to myself.
Finally something to nag about. This is a movie dealing with "the uncommon", but as usual in the end, they make it a "feel-good" movie - all is well, before the credits roll. For me, this guy having an unusual problem or being just a short tempered guy wouldn't have made much difference to the story. Somehow the fact that something unusual has unusual effects is comfortably and conveniently ignored, which ends up this movie as just another good movie, instead of a better one. I'm amazed with the fact that the Indian film makers never really ventured into showcasing relations on a "how-it-happens-in-daily-life" basis on the screen. I find it always superficial. (Now, please don't start with Rays and Benegals and all.)
"Karthik" happens to be one of the names I'm fascinated about. Voices are also of my fascination. Farhan Akhtar's voice was disappointing, especially over the phone.
Kudos to the team which did this film! It's thoroughly enjoyable. I liked it, though I see a wasted opportunity. As always.
Final thought: Seems like the modern day man-woman relationship is all about dealing with insecurities - of one's own and the others. You and I and we all are, nothing but a bunch of insecurities!
Go watch this movie, NOW!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Dreams I wish to fulfill
A decade passed, but I still vividly remember signing a Slam book for a schoolmate, in which against the heading "Dreams I wish to fulfill", I wrote, "I wanna win the Bharata Ratna."
Then during the plus two farewell, I grew up a bit and ended up signing "Would be nice if there are couple of awards in my name. " That was surely growing up from aiming to win a Nobel Prize to being a Alfred Nobel.
And then at the end of graduation, I was dreaming of ruling the IT industry. That famous line of SRK in almost all of his biographic shows, "mein is sheher ko kareed ke rahoongaa" referring Mumbai. I was like the very same, to better the IT - be a new face of IT.
Now, with few years in IT and a hell lot of experiences in life and with people, if you ask me what's your dream at this moment, with my head pounding and sleepless nights in my account.. I 'd say, "My dream is to have dreamless sleep." :P I need nothing more than that at this moment. I'm sure, that is what I would want in rest of life too.
But since S. tagged me for dreams not related to the dreams in sleep, I'll have to think about them.
Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore or Abhinav Bindra, I don't remember who, exclaimed that fulfilling a dream is like getting on to the top of a mountain painstakingly to see that there's nothing on the peak. It's not a place to be stayed back and have picnic. You'll have to come down. So, fulfilling dreams is all about enjoying the process of fulfilling the dream.
I'd love to tag myself as a dreamer, but I know, I'm NOT a dreamer. Or, if it can be comprehended by anyone, I'd rather call myself a practical dreamer. I know that either sounds ignorant or pseudo-intellectual, but that's me! When confronted with situations and scenarios, I've always chosen to be practical - nothing but practical. I could be called cold, emotionless or similar adjectives, still I'm that. I dream within the realms of practicality. Being so is enormously draining, because you'll have constant meddling with anything and everything that your heart does. In a way, my brain takes guard of my heart as a elder one would protect his younger sibling. They've an understanding, which I end up respecting time and again.
Nevertheless, since I was tagged to blog about dreams that I wish to fulfill, they would be:
Someone happens to inquire my life, "Hey.. how's Purnima treating you?" (just the way people ask me, how's life treating you?), I dream of it saying, "She's cool.. even otherwise, we've got a way together. We are either ok or 'll be ok petty soon. No worries."
However erratic and eluding it might be and however much helpless a human being I might be, I somehow dream of partnering the best with my life. :) OVER-AMBITIOUS! You're permitted to say that aloud. :P
One of my latest wildest and craziest of dreams is to take communication between human beings to the next level - a no-language communicative mode. Then I needn't blog like this to tell my dreams, all I need is to open a firewall kinda thing in my brain and allow a set of brains to peek in what's happening in the part of my brain, where dreams are stored. Hope at least then, human beings get to understand one another. (idea copyrights@PT :P)
Another dream of mine is to successfully transfer to my kids, the happiness I experienced because of one man called Sachin Tendulkar. Sure, they'll have loads and loads of digital gadgets to watch the man in action and have reams and reams written about him. Its not sitting with them to watch a video or brag about Sach for hours together. I don't know what exactly it is, but I somehow dream of my kids enjoying the same happiness as their mother did, not necessarily because of same person.
I dream of meeting a hell lot of people in my life. No, I'm not talking about the big names, about my heroes. This is about people who walk into your life for a brief time and roll away as a wave that hits the shore. I'm not a believer of life-long-friends. People should walk in to walk out after a while. And the taste of rendezvous for life!
I dream of becoming a better friend. I wonder, if I can be bettered. Am I not hopeless in ways, folks? How do you tolerate me?
I dream of not losing the kid in me.. JUST NO WAY!
The list continues... so I better stop. Thanks S, it was nice time dreaming about dreams. :)
Then during the plus two farewell, I grew up a bit and ended up signing "Would be nice if there are couple of awards in my name. " That was surely growing up from aiming to win a Nobel Prize to being a Alfred Nobel.
And then at the end of graduation, I was dreaming of ruling the IT industry. That famous line of SRK in almost all of his biographic shows, "mein is sheher ko kareed ke rahoongaa" referring Mumbai. I was like the very same, to better the IT - be a new face of IT.
Now, with few years in IT and a hell lot of experiences in life and with people, if you ask me what's your dream at this moment, with my head pounding and sleepless nights in my account.. I 'd say, "My dream is to have dreamless sleep." :P I need nothing more than that at this moment. I'm sure, that is what I would want in rest of life too.
But since S. tagged me for dreams not related to the dreams in sleep, I'll have to think about them.
Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore or Abhinav Bindra, I don't remember who, exclaimed that fulfilling a dream is like getting on to the top of a mountain painstakingly to see that there's nothing on the peak. It's not a place to be stayed back and have picnic. You'll have to come down. So, fulfilling dreams is all about enjoying the process of fulfilling the dream.
I'd love to tag myself as a dreamer, but I know, I'm NOT a dreamer. Or, if it can be comprehended by anyone, I'd rather call myself a practical dreamer. I know that either sounds ignorant or pseudo-intellectual, but that's me! When confronted with situations and scenarios, I've always chosen to be practical - nothing but practical. I could be called cold, emotionless or similar adjectives, still I'm that. I dream within the realms of practicality. Being so is enormously draining, because you'll have constant meddling with anything and everything that your heart does. In a way, my brain takes guard of my heart as a elder one would protect his younger sibling. They've an understanding, which I end up respecting time and again.
Nevertheless, since I was tagged to blog about dreams that I wish to fulfill, they would be:
Someone happens to inquire my life, "Hey.. how's Purnima treating you?" (just the way people ask me, how's life treating you?), I dream of it saying, "She's cool.. even otherwise, we've got a way together. We are either ok or 'll be ok petty soon. No worries."
However erratic and eluding it might be and however much helpless a human being I might be, I somehow dream of partnering the best with my life. :) OVER-AMBITIOUS! You're permitted to say that aloud. :P
One of my latest wildest and craziest of dreams is to take communication between human beings to the next level - a no-language communicative mode. Then I needn't blog like this to tell my dreams, all I need is to open a firewall kinda thing in my brain and allow a set of brains to peek in what's happening in the part of my brain, where dreams are stored. Hope at least then, human beings get to understand one another. (idea copyrights@PT :P)
Another dream of mine is to successfully transfer to my kids, the happiness I experienced because of one man called Sachin Tendulkar. Sure, they'll have loads and loads of digital gadgets to watch the man in action and have reams and reams written about him. Its not sitting with them to watch a video or brag about Sach for hours together. I don't know what exactly it is, but I somehow dream of my kids enjoying the same happiness as their mother did, not necessarily because of same person.
I dream of meeting a hell lot of people in my life. No, I'm not talking about the big names, about my heroes. This is about people who walk into your life for a brief time and roll away as a wave that hits the shore. I'm not a believer of life-long-friends. People should walk in to walk out after a while. And the taste of rendezvous for life!
I dream of becoming a better friend. I wonder, if I can be bettered. Am I not hopeless in ways, folks? How do you tolerate me?
I dream of not losing the kid in me.. JUST NO WAY!
The list continues... so I better stop. Thanks S, it was nice time dreaming about dreams. :)
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Life = sum(decisions, choices)
Life is not just about deciding to do this or that. Indecisiveness is the most insurmountable part of it. I was told so.
I reiterate, Life is all about deciding to do this or that. Many a times, it's even simpler: deciding to-do-this or not-to-do-this.
If inability to decide should be termed as indecisiveness, then life doesn't have place for it. Because when you decide not-to-decide NOW, you've already made a decision. Choosing not to choose is also a choice.
Life isn't easy - agreed! But let you be not the reason for its complications.
I reiterate, Life is all about deciding to do this or that. Many a times, it's even simpler: deciding to-do-this or not-to-do-this.
If inability to decide should be termed as indecisiveness, then life doesn't have place for it. Because when you decide not-to-decide NOW, you've already made a decision. Choosing not to choose is also a choice.
Life isn't easy - agreed! But let you be not the reason for its complications.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Talent for Vulgarity
Many of his words struck me hard, this being one of them, Kurt Vonnegut talking about his mother.
"She was a good writer, it turned out, but she had no talent for the vulgarity the slick magazines required. Fortunately, I was loaded with vulgarity, so when I grew up I was able to make her dream come true."
Watching Ishqiya trailers makes me so uncomfortable, not just because of what I get to see on the screen. That's anyway obvious. The new disquiet is about the fact that I can't stomach most of it. Vishal has been tempting me for the days of Omkara. I watched that movie with my thumb mostly on the fast forward button of the remote. I prepared myself a li'l too heavily when we planned to watch Kaminey. I was far more at ease with this film, but never did it impress me to the fullest. Now watching Ishiqa makes me curious and apprehensive at the same time. I'll be very surely out of place to enjoy this movie, even with censor board's best efforts.
As Kurt said, to be an artist - to be in the process of mirroring what's around you - no doubt, you got to have the nag for vulgarity. I just started to feel that to be an connoisseur of art you got to have that talent for vulgarity. I'm not campaigning for vulgarity in arts, it's just that I'm possibly seeing with wider eyes and acknowledging facts that aren't to my liking. I still wonder if there could be a way to erase the world, when I close my eyes.
Good part of Vishal's genius as far as I'm concerned is his music. Partnering the mastreo Gulzar he comes up with some unusally brilliant music. After Gulzar and RDB combination, these two are soon becoming my second best.
"She was a good writer, it turned out, but she had no talent for the vulgarity the slick magazines required. Fortunately, I was loaded with vulgarity, so when I grew up I was able to make her dream come true."
Watching Ishqiya trailers makes me so uncomfortable, not just because of what I get to see on the screen. That's anyway obvious. The new disquiet is about the fact that I can't stomach most of it. Vishal has been tempting me for the days of Omkara. I watched that movie with my thumb mostly on the fast forward button of the remote. I prepared myself a li'l too heavily when we planned to watch Kaminey. I was far more at ease with this film, but never did it impress me to the fullest. Now watching Ishiqa makes me curious and apprehensive at the same time. I'll be very surely out of place to enjoy this movie, even with censor board's best efforts.
As Kurt said, to be an artist - to be in the process of mirroring what's around you - no doubt, you got to have the nag for vulgarity. I just started to feel that to be an connoisseur of art you got to have that talent for vulgarity. I'm not campaigning for vulgarity in arts, it's just that I'm possibly seeing with wider eyes and acknowledging facts that aren't to my liking. I still wonder if there could be a way to erase the world, when I close my eyes.
Good part of Vishal's genius as far as I'm concerned is his music. Partnering the mastreo Gulzar he comes up with some unusally brilliant music. After Gulzar and RDB combination, these two are soon becoming my second best.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Look.. who's talking? :P
Sachin's mind is still strong - Ian Chappel
Looks like Sach doesn't need to look in a mirror for the time being!
Looks like Sach doesn't need to look in a mirror for the time being!